Thursday, December 2, 2010

Starting Over

So of course I have not blogged in a while. So many things have happened to me lately, I just have not had the time. I decided that because James and I have moved on to a new chapter in our life, that I should start my blog over. Of course we moved to the Houston area, and because this is a new start for us, it will be a new start for me here. New, new, new…..

So many things have crossed our paths recently—some good, some bad. I am slowly coming to the realization that life cannot always be straight and narrow for long. It is almost like I am being teased with what I could have, and then shown that just because I can have it doesn’t mean I will. Not too many people know that James and I finally got pregnant, only to suffer a devastating loss. No matter how hard I try, it is still extremely hard to talk about. The whole process is excruciatingly painful. I am still praying to god for a chance to let it happen again—only to stick and give us a beautiful baby this time. Also, sometimes dreams just do not work out. I’ve learned to be realistic.

I shouldn’t be too upset though. We have had a lot of blessings happen also. James finally got a job after being out of work for a year. I, more than anything, wanted him happy. Drawing is what makes him happy. He is a good man and the best thing that has ever happened to me—I think he deserves it. We were blessed with a loving family who gave us a house and enabled us to have a jumpstart on our future together. We are even more blessed to have been able to sell the house in this horrible economy, even if we did not get close to what we wanted for it. We were lucky that it was just enough to pay off all (and I mean ALL) of our bills and leave us some for a decent down payment on another house (which we found and close in January on).

Even though I feel life throws us curveballs at times, I try to look at my family and what I do have. I thank God every day for everything he has given me. Others are not as lucky to be given what we have. I am closer to my family whom I missed terribly. I still have not forgiven myself for not being around when I lost my grandmother. My heart still aches for her loss.

I guess my point being is that I should not complain. Everything happens for a reason. James losing his job got us here, me going down the wrong path eventually led to me finding James and having my beautiful children, and finally understanding true love. Never give up and never let the bad get you down.